Balkan Bash Game 2 v Incogniti Cricket Club Incogniti CC on Fri 21 Sep 2018 at TBC
Incogniti Cricket Club Won beat Vinohrady cc in last over

Match report MATCH REPORT (Written from memory just after the tournament so apologies for any errors and too much focus on my perspective:

Where to start with this one. My Tour started at 3am as soon as I arrived at Gatwick. Unlike me, Leaky had decided sleep was supefluous to requirements and had cracked on through the night. My full English had already been washed down with a Guiness, and Leaky ensured that another couple of pints would be consumed to help us sleep on the flight... Sign of things to come..

After a day acclimatising it was down to business on the Friday. Our first fixture was against Old Hors. Incogs lost the toss and Hors decided to bat. I'm not sure they were quite expecting what followed, as a succession of balls varying from a length to quite a bit short of a length from Khan, Boothroyd, Wakeford and Birtles whistled past the Hors batsmen at between the navel and three metres over the head. The Montenegran strip was at it's most lively and the incog bowlers were struggling to adjust to the only safe length, the half volley or fuller.

Things came to a head when Birtles, through no fault of his own bar being the fourth bowler in succession to provide chin music, was reprimanded by the Hors skipper. Various people became involved in a lively discussion of the rules, the spirit, our competence, and their manhood, but it was eventually agreed that we would try to pitch it up a bit more. Birtles duly obliged with a fuller half volley, which the Hors skipper duly despatched for six. A lesson in how much rope to give batsmen for the young fast bowler.

In between the short stuff, and the frequent 'no balls' and free hits which ensued, Hors had managed to keep up a healthy scoring rate of over 7 an over in the first 10 overs. Partly because of this, and partly to avoid more throat ball controversy, the spinners were introduced. Wood, Bowry and Arnould shared the remaining overs and did wonderfully well to restrict the Hors to just over 150.

As was soon to become the pattern of the tournament, Incogs got off to an excellent start with Woods and Mason both reaching 40+ in their own very contrasting styles. Woods all elegant drives and pulls, Mason carving meatily between point and mid off. A wobble in the middle was steadied by Khan and Wakeford striking some long high blows and Incogs were home and dry with a couple of overs to spare.

An immediate turnaround saw Incogs playing Czech side Varianault. While the result was ultimately very similar, this was a sterner test which could have gone other ways without a few key interventions. The first of these was provided by tour manager Wakeford, who made up for a wayward start by removing the dangerous and self confident Muharoof. A classic double bluff of placing two fielders out at deep square, followed by a fuller ball to remove Muharoof's off peg when he was clearly set for the hook.

The next significant intervention was made by Arnould, with help from the faith of his skipper, and the safe hands of Khan. Varianault's star player Vivek had planted Phil's first five deliveries for 22 runs, the sixth was again bravely flighted, but was heading for another maximum at square leg before Khan intercepted the ball brilliantly on the run. Wicket purchased, at just about a price worth paying. Bowry and Wood then came on and made relatively short work of the players remaining. Varianault also ended up posting just over 150.

Another solid start from Mason and Woods, both posting 30s this time, set the scene for some more fireworks from Khan. A brief wobble again in the middle order, mainly caused by some excellent leg spin, left the result in doubt, but this time Bowry and Assad Naeem saw us home with some classy strokeplay with about an over to spare.

This win was particularly well received as it meant we were in the final and therefore not on again until 3pm the following day. Great scope therefore for evening entertainment and incog's specialists in this did not disappoint. Gordon in particular lead from the front. Having drained most of the free drink during the day (he had clearly explained to on field skipper Sunny Bowry that this was his intention) Gordon kicked on well into the night and was only finished off by Norman's Pear Rakki (and clear instructions to p*ss off upstairs and go to sleep). Other tour members, who will remain nameless for reasons of discretion were reported at the casino in Kotor as well as a nightclub in Budva (which is nearly 2 hours away from our base in Perast). Despite all this, everyone reported present for finals day.

Incogs were paired in the final with a team from Liverpool. As they had played their games on the Thursday our first view of them was late on the Friday evening as they came down to assess us. While we knew they had won both their heats, the sight of them playing headers and volleys half cut and in hawaiin shirts had led us to believe the final might be quite easy. It was of course far from that.

Boothroyd and his Chiswick possy accounted for 3 of the scousers very early on (ct Mason b Boothroyd twice, plus another Catch for Arnould), but Khan was out of sorts with the ball and the scouser's muscular and hirsuit number 3 took advantage with some classy shots. He was given ugly but effective support from 'Paul' who rode his luck to whack a fairly rapid 30 odd. Bowry (leading incog wicket taker), Wood and Arnould, with great support from the catching of Birtles accounted for quite a few of the scouse middle order, but the runs never stopped ticking and when their number 3 returned to smash a few more at the end Incogs were facing a total of 170 to win.

This should have been a daunting total, especially after a rare 'failure' from Mason who was bowled by a grubber early on. However, Woods and Khan kept us rattling along despite some good seam bowling. Woods again scored 40+ (making him leading run scorer for us) and Kahn hit our first 50* retired in brutal fashion. Many of the many sixes he hit would have been sixes on any ground, and the sheer speed of his innings effectively won us the game (and him our man of the tournament award). Once Wood was out and Khan retired it was left to the class and experience of Bowry and the brutality and experience of Wakeford to see us home with about 8 balls to spare. A great chase, fine final, and sliverware for Incogniti cc!

So that was the 'serious' cricket, but what about the rest. I've not the time, knowledge of, or permission to list all that went on, so I'll list Finemaster Mason's fines to give you a flavour:

Norm 5 ball overs and claiming he counted 7
Norm asking for scoreboard every over before scorer has finished scoring the over
Phil crawling on the floor with trousers down whilst fielding, bowling 22 off 1 over then batting out a maiden
Phil refusing catch off free hit, then debating with the whole team about it whilst they take a run
Sunny for taking phil off after taking wicket last ball in over and Sunny 2 over throws pretending he was 21 again and should have been sent off for throwing the ball at the umpires head (Norman)
Immi & Sunny arriving at ground in cricket kit ready to play
Immi & Gordon for talking whilst bowler running in
Immi doing a warm up lap to intimidate oppo in final
Assad chesting the ball whilst batting and getting a duck after waiting 98 runs to get in to bat
Tim "Sun in eyes" refusals
Woody for dropped catch, especially for saying he couldn't think of us dropping any all day
Woody for denying Gordon a game all day
Leaky 2 non-mobile refusals and leaving the ball in a T20
Gordon thanks for coming and trying to take a stool sample off phil in the night
Birtles for dropping the cat Gordon threw at him in bed and bullying adults with his bowling and wearing a sleeping eye mask
Boothroyd & Birtles impersonating batsmen on the team photo
Boothroyd failing to buy host Norman a pastry for breakfast and whinging about immi getting 2 lots of 4 overs "golden child"
Wakeford for bowling bouncers in a friendly and insisting the batsmen wore helmets so he could bowl more
Wakeford sliding for the ball, great throw to keeper, only to realise 9 yards outside the boundary
3 missed Hattrick opportunitiesl
Ian for faking injury to not play and stealing the trophy

Great fun, huge thanks to all involved, especially Norm who did so much to set it up, and somehow managed to put up with us all!

Roll on Serbia if we decide to defend our title :-)

Balkan Bash Game 2 Batting
Player name RunsMB4s6sSR
11nb 3b 9lb 
for 9 wickets
157 (0.0 overs)
R Probst lbw  I Khan 12
Mukush b  B Wakeford 24
Shaun ct  B Wakeford 12
Vivek ct  P Arnould 34
Vosta ct  S Bowry 7
Paul st  S Bowry 0
Brigham ct  P Arould 24
Benji ct  S Bowry 2
David lbw  T wood 7
Simon Not Out  7
Paul S Not Out  3

Incogniti Cricket Club Incogniti CC Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
David Boothroyd4.0030130.007.50
Imran Khan4.0024124.006.00
Ben Wakeford 3.001326.504.33
Phillip Arnould 2.0026126.0013.00
Sunny Bowry3.001535.005.00
Antony Wood 4.0030130.007.50

Incogniti Cricket Club Incogniti CC Batting
Player Name RMB4s6sSRCatchesStumpingsRun outs
for 5 wickets

(18.0 overs)
Tom Mason ct  Taylor 30
Antony Wood ct  Simon 30
Imran Khan ct  Taylor 33
Ben Wakeford ct  Simon 9
Sunny Bowry Not Out  12
Assad Naeem Not Out  13
Ben Birtles  
Tim Sims   1
Phillip Arnould  
Gordon Robinson  
David Boothroyd  

Balkan Bash Game 2 Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Taylor 4.0037218.509.25